I am so disgusted with Helen Mirren. Her comments about date rape being not a matter for the courts, but "subtle negotiations" (the way the Independent put it) between men and women...The idea being that if a woman goes back to a man's flat, she's not going for a cup of tea, thus should take responsibility for that action (this is paraphrasing conservative MP Ann Widdicome).

Yes now. That means you get back to the flat, and outside of the dim lights of the party, and enter the bright incandescent light of a bachelor (hopefully) flat and can't decide, um, no, actually, I think I need to wash my hair. Oh, no, don't call, I'll call you doesn’t work because you willingly stepped over that threshold, and now you have to fuck the fellow if he wants to? Fucking ridiculous.

That's like saying the vanilla fellow who the domme picks up and brings back to her place has to stay out of politeness once he sees the whips and chains.

The thing about this that really disturbs me is the physical strength. If a man changes his mind, it’s highly unlikely a woman will be able to pin him down and ‘have her way with him’, to borrow a phrase from the many romance novels I’ve read this summer. However, if a woman changes her mind, most men are strong enough so that won’t actually matter. Add all sorts of weird social conditioning and the fact she was wearing a short skirt....surely she was asking for it?

While I believe women should have a clue and try to avoid situations where they might put themselves at risk, I believe that of everyone. Men shouldn’t walk dark alleys alone anymore than women shouldn’t, but when it comes to rape, especially date rape, there needs to be a greater respect for individuals and their bodies. Not only do women have to be self aware, but men have to be aware too, that yes is yes and no is no, and that despite whatever your buddies were telling you, the fact she passed out on your bed doesn’t mean she wants you.

It all comes down to respect. I think that this issue of date rape only exists because some men are taught to believe that women are only there for their gratification and, at the end of the day, are the same sort of  ‘human’ as them. It’s a terrifying issue, and interesting too. Maybe I’ll end up doing the PhD on romance novels after all.